If we threw all of our own problems into a pile, we’d get our own back out. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve heard this, said this, pondered about this. But just as sure as the fact that I’m overdue for a trip to see my favorite hairdresser cause right now I’m sporting 3 inch grey roots, this is straight up gospel.
This past week has been one of the most stressful ever. It’s been a whirlwhind of hospital, surgery, and now on to short term rehab for my Granny O. It’s been being off for a week to come back to a mell of a hess waiting for me on my desk. In my mailboxes on my door. Deliveries stacked in the corner. 514 emails and 17 voicemails. It’s been ending my day hearing the words “I sure hate to see you go home, Kim”, in a small 93 year old weak voice as I leave the “nursing home” as she sees it. It’s been 3 dogs busting at the seams (and the bladder) when I finally make it home to let them out. It’s been a strain on my personal relationship (because you know you take it out on the one you love the most). It’s been my older sister telling me she wanted to “fight me” on the ride home from the nursing home over our Burger King order (please know, she was joking, but we truly were aggravated at one another).
But. Now y’all knew there was a but coming. Don’t even act like you didn’t. It has also been a day where I saw my Granny O get up and WALK in her rehab session like a boss. Telling the staff there she was gonna do so good she was gonna go after their jobs. It has been heartfelt laughter with my sister with whom I’ve had a seriously strained relationship with for many years. It’s been nights of wonderful ministry sessions at the jail with the Hope 2 U group where the female inmates lifted ME up instead of the other way around. It’s been going thru their small paper prayer requests at the end of the night to see “Please pray for Granny O and her surgery and healing” written by an inmate I’ve never met before in my life, but who used her one slip of paper we give them to pray for MY Granny. It’s been seeing a new friend plead into Drug Court today beginning a new sober journey that I can’t watch unfold. It’s been a BUT GOD week.
But God. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 112:7. “She does not fear bad news. She CONFIDENTLY trusts the Lord to take care of her”. Not meekly. Mildly. With doubt. With hesitation. With CONFIDENCE.
Lord knows I can talk the talk when giving someone else advice. Girl, you read that verse over and over and you claim it like you’ve never claimed anything!!! You hear me, girl?? Now it was a whole different story when I needed to apply it to my own situation. After a few red headed fits when I was alone (and a few in the presence of others), I had this realization I had better check myself before I wrecked myself. Granny O was depending on me. As was my job. My fur babies. My honey. My girls in that jail.
You know what causes doubt? Fear. Fear of the unknown. The hard things in our life. The obstacles. The stress. That stuff I can’t control and Lawd knows I am a control freak to the highest power. But you know what else God tells me besides I best get confident? He tells me FEAR IS A LIAR AND SO IS THE DEVIL. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7
When I think of how unsure (not confident) and scared (fearful) I was this time a week ago, it makes me chuckle. Yes, I’m still stressed. My dogs are still at home waiting to be let out. Those ladies are still in jail. My sister still wants to smack me (lol). And Granny O is still not home yet. But she will be. I know it as sure as I’m sitting here.
Cast out fear, claim confidence and straighten those crowns. Later, y’all!