Don’t Go To Bed Mad

I got mad at my husband last night. Not just little mad, or aggravated. Mad enough I got up and walked out of a restaurant. Why? Because he got to the restaurant way before I did and by the time I got there and could even order his food was ready. And he eats real fast and it takes me forever to eat and well, I just got mad.

Mad because this man who 3 days ago I was saying me and him were like that Vince Gill song “Look at Us” and how we were gonna go down in history. And guess what? I meant it. Then and now. Even when I got so mad I walked out of a restaurant.

I never set out to get divorced. Pretty sure my husband didn’t either. We both have regrets in that department I think. Sometimes I wonder if my Momma and former mother in law are going to meet me in Heaven and give me what for because of the angst and drama surrounding my first marriage. I’m pretty sure I didn’t act like Yaya or Grandmother during that time.

It took both of us 20+ years and a lot of heartache to end up here. Yes, there were good times too. And 3 pretty awesome kids as a result of those relationships. Our children have good parents who are there for them thru thick and thin, and for that I’m forever grateful.

Why is it different this time? Only God knows the answer to that. But it is. There are no doubts, no hesitation, no worry that one day I’ll lie beside this man in eternal rest in a little cemetery in Pikeville, AL. Y’all, please don’t let him bury me on that mountain. I’ll haunt the whole lot of you if that happens.

I was bound and determined to stay mad last night, not texting him off and on during his shift like I normally do. For those that don’t know, he’s a Narcotics Captain. Granny O used to say “Lord, he’s got a dangerous job, Kim”. Yes, he does. One he was trying to get back to during that meal out I got mad about.

She also used to tell me on a daily basis “Keep on, you’re gonna run him off with that mouth of yours”. I know God gave me this man, but if I’m honest He gave him to Granny O too. She loved him and he loved her. Many nights during that last year she wanted nothing more than for him to come by. More times than not to tell on me for something for which he always believed. They were true allies.

He’s a great dog Dad. And dog Poppie. They drive him crazy but he still loves them. He misses Shiner more than I do if that can be believed.

He’s a hard worker. He goes about that dangerous job he has with dedication unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed. He’s a good ole boy and a true thin blue line brother.

He’s a good Dad. His own son now is following in his footsteps pursuing a job in law enforcement. He smiles like nothing I’ve ever seen telling me stories of things his daughter said when she was little. Calling the donkey the E-yonk. He thinks Dylan is the bees knees and is as proud of him as I am.

He’s funny. And smart. He can imitate just about anyone and tell you some of the most useless knowledge concerning movie trivia ever. Don’t dare watch Jeopardy with him. You’ll just end up mad and feeling dumb.

I don’t know why some marriages work and some don’t. I don’t know why todays generation gives up so easily. Divorce is so hard. I have scars I will bear forever. Scars that looking back I realize had to happen to lead me to where I am today. I could go all cliche right now and go all Song of Solomon on y’all. That “I have found the one my soul loves” business. But I’m just gonna keep it real. I have found the one who on a daily basis makes me madder than a mashed cat and who I aggravate enough for him to want to commit felonies.

My non texting mad self came in determined to show him last night. What did I do? I got in the kitchen and tried out some new recipes for him to have for breakfast this week. He got diabetes for Valentines Day. That’s a whole other story. I must not have been too mad.

Imagine my surprise when he came in earlier than normal last night. He said “Hey, I got you something” and hands me 2 scratch off lottery tickets. I won $100. All of a sudden he starts with that “we” business and I’m like no deal, you said you got me something. Unless you got a rat in your pocket I’m the only winner right here.

Those lottery tickets have been lying on the counter since Saturday. For five days I’ve walked past them without much of a thought or passing glance. He says he didn’t give them to me because I was mad. I have my own thoughts on that but being that I won $100 I’ll let him stick with that story.

I’ve been heck to live with lately. I’m coming up on retirement and I’ve got all these big ideas and plans and this man never knows what he’s going to wake up to. Throw my post cancer menopause in and I’m pretty sure there is some Oscar or Emmy for husbands he should be in top running for. Step aside, Matthew McConaughey.

Thankful for a new day and new mercies. As of today, we are now on the same old people heart meds. Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.

I got mad at my husband last night, y’all.