I know. We’re all in this crisis together. The self isolating. Mandatory quarantines. Finding out whether we are essential or non essential. Fear in our hearts. Worry in our minds. Skin peeling off our hands from the use of so much soap and hand sanitizer.

If anyone had told me a month ago we wouldn’t be going to work as normal, church on Sunday, into a store or restaurant for everyday items or a sit down meal, I would have laughed in their face. 3 weeks ago I was strolling the streets of downtown Gatlinburg, enjoying bread pudding french toast and outdoor air bluegrass music in rocking chairs.

Today I sat in the truck as my husband went into a grocery store for a carefully thought out list as I sat and watched in horror as families came and went, taking small children into the Foodland with them. I considered rolling the window down and screaming “What is wrong with you people” but thought better of it as I know first hand jails are human incubators. I sat silently as the anxiety built.

I’ve gone in to work to do those “essentials” they speak of, making sure I go when hardly anyone is there. I wore a mask the last time I went and politely refused the communal pizza they were having for lunch. I took a Clorox wipe to the vending machine to push the button for my Diet DP. Ended up wiping down the whole machine.

On weekends, my husband has taken me out riding and I’ve seen parts of my little N AL county I might not have ever seen. I’ve gotten out and taken pictures of wildflowers and old tires and small waterfalls. I’ve gone to my mother In laws today, sat in a lawn chair in the yard and maintained the “6 foot” space between us. I fretted thinking she got offended because I didn’t go inside.

I walked around her farm and talked to Charley the donkey and stalked a rabbit for 15 minutes, trying to sneak up and get the perfect picture of him. I sat on a bluff yesterday and ate take out from my favorite Italian hole in the wall with my husband. I’ve finally started “Where the Crawdads Sing” and I’m totally enthralled and been afraid the ending is going to scar me.

I’ve cooked more in 2 weeks than I have in 2 years. Pinterest has been my friend. Social media and the nightly news my enemy. Had a love/hate relationship with the leadership I see controlling our actions and destiny. Rented and raved about the lack of people who are adhering to the cry to stay home and social distance. Relentlessly mothered my 26 year old son as if he were 16 and just gotten his license, telling him not be out “carousing”.

I’ve known WHO was in control even when it felt like the very same person is testing us and teaching us a lesson. Yelled at Him and prayed to Him. Worshiped him in song. Felt a spiritual uprising I haven’t in a long, long time. Laid on a beach towel in the yard and looked up at the sky begging for Him to reveal the outcome of this to me.

I made a homemade concoction in a bowl to capture fruit flies (which I really call dog pecker gnats), and squeaked in glee when I finally caught two. Excitedly swished the bowl around, shoving it in my husbands face saying LOOK!!!! Thought to myself, it’s all downhill from here. I am excited over drowned dog pecker gnats.

But never fear. I just rearranged my canned goods and I have 7 cans of pumpkin. A can of coconut milk. I have never in my free born life used coconut milk. For anything! Now, please excuse me while I google recipes for canned pumpkin and fire roasted corn, which I have an over abundance of.

Stay safe. Stay home. Be thankful for FaceTime and boycott the news. Trust in God and remember His mercies are new every morning.

Later, y’all.